There's no upside to this situation. If she had admitted and stopped all contact with him immediately, it might have been worth reconciliation. By not telling you and insisting on being around him, she is blatantly disrespecting you and your relationship. At some point when you're with someone with some integrity, you look bad on this and be glad you left.
that's pretty screwed up – why bother marrying if you're not going to make a good-faith effort going in?
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