Air Force veteran, as single as they come, no kids. Will probably be single the rest of my life lol. Sorry, but the "tall" gene did not run in my family, and it's all the same when you're lying down.
Calm, cool, and collected. "I don't think you're ready to be a wife. If I didn't know that before, I finally understood it when I got that text and you couldn't tell me the truth about it. You're young, and you should be able to enjoy yourself while you're young, without having to lie to anybody about it. I wish you the best."
Sadly, this is as true today as it ever has been.
This is my first time on this site. I have read several posts and you all seem to be concerned and honest. I have been going through something that I have not see so far on this site (embarassing), so do not be shocked. A little over 4 years ago I located my husbands father side of the family. He grew up with a sister and brother (mothers side) and now has 2 more sisters and another brother. Since 2002 we saw them maybe 4 times a year. Last June one of his sisters started coming to our lake house a lot. My husband is really sensitive and loving and when we got together over 12 years he was so looking for someone to love him and fell madly in love with me. We had our ups and downs, but finally made it through it and got married July of last year. He and his sister started talking on the phone alot in July and by November they were talking all day (8-10) times a day (32 hours a month), spending a lot of time together I was not around and did not know. He started lieing to me about going to see her and said he was hanging out with his brother (lived next door to her) everytime she was around they were like magnets. In August I woke up around 2AM and found them under the dock, drunk and they said they were talking. They did that a lot, went swimming late when everyone else even her husband was a sleep. Sometime in October I could see him acting weird towards me, cold even. Claims I was jealous of her and I had issues. November I found Stamax in his truck and he said he had taken it for energy??? He would leave the house to call her when they were not together. Finally in December our machine caught them on tape talking very emotionally to each other, "I love you so much baby" he called her his "sweet sweet baby". They were even talking ugly about me, not like him at all. He stopped calling me and if I called him he would talk to me 2 minutes hang up and call her. So, I accused them of having a GSA (Genetic Sexual Attraction) affair. Then 2 weeks after that he said he wanted a divorce because I was crazy and it was all my fault and he could not believe I did that (accusation of that magnitude)...he still called her all the time ( she backed off ), did not speak to me for 4 months, told me he was no longer in love with me, and the worst no longer attracted to me ( I am an attractive woman, she is not ) the way he was until her. This is a man that loved me,my body and could not get enough of me in everyway for 11 years. I cried all the time, begged for forgiveness (feel liek a fool now) etc...he finally started coming back around in April and we are trying to reconcile. The problem is he is not the same. It is like his passion and desire is gone. He still calls her everday, says "that is my sister and you cannot ask me not to talk to her" does not call me. We do have sex, but not as much. I am so scared that he is lying to me (he has to, no one wants to admit incest) and he loves her but will not leave because it can never be and I am second choice now...our friends that were around us at the lake house all summer finally told me they thought something was odd with them as well. They acted like teenagers in love. Maybe it was emotional and not physical (hard to believe with him, he is very effectionate and shows his love that way) he is not a flirt and I know he has never cheated before. Everyone knows how much he has always loved me and like me want to believe he would not be capable of something so wrong. He is not ugly to me now (was for months) has cut the talking down, but still seems weird. He tells me to relax and just love him nothing is wrong and to let things happen again, do not force them, and he loves me very much, but he is totally not him. I can feel it. Why does he still call her (he called me 3 times a day for 11 years, then started calling her)? I want to believer him, but so many things tell me something happened and they will never be able to tell me or her husband. I am hoping and praying that she is just the lost member of the family he has longed for and she is filling the void he had all his life not knowing his dad etc.....I pray she is not replacing me emotionally or in anyway. I know this all sonuds crazy and Springer like, but it is my life now and I am upset all the time. I love him and want to make it go away, but do not know how. If he were guilty, how would it show? Remorse, he has none, trying to be extra nice, he does not do that either. It is like he is there and happy sometimes ,but most of the time he is JUST THERE. Tells me I analyse it all too much and need to chill out. His latest comment when he was up tight and I was trying to help was " I feel like my hands are tied and I am tired of it" the next day I asked what that meant and he said stop doing that, just relax...it is about US, my job (he hates it now, been there 19 years) just stress right now...so you can see why I am paranoid.....I just want peace, but cannot not knowing and having to see her the rest of my life (by the way, she does not come down anymore and we rarely see them, strange to you?) Can anyone help me without being mean? I am on the edge and am really trying to save my marriage, YES I am seeing a therapist and we are going to go soon !
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